In the part 5 of my blog series “The Secret to Never Ending Happiness”, I had ended by saying that most of the people don’t even know what are the factors that affect their state of mind. We can identify those factors by self evaluation or introspection. That is precisely what we are going to discuss in today’s blog. So what is introspection? I would define introspection as thinking deeply about your own thoughts, ideas and feelings and examining them. Although the definition of introspection is accurate, but it does not help. It is not an easy process and the definition itself is not helpful to cultivate its habit. Now you would ask why bother to introspect? There are tons of advantages of introspection. It helps you boost self-awareness, improve your decision making, enhances your mental wellbeing, sparks personal growth, I could go on and on about this. So let’s delve into this extremely important and underrated topic with a few examples.

Rahul, an aspiring software engineer is preparing for his interview that is scheduled tomorrow. Rahul is a very bright and talented programmer, but he is anxious today. “What if I don’t clear the interview tomorrow?”, “Will they like me?”, “What if I blunder a simple question?”. Most of us have been through a similar situation some time or the other in our lives. Now Rahul, being so anxious, reaches out to his mentor, a professor from his college, to seek guidance. The professor is aware of the ability Rahul has but is worried about his anxiety. He tells Rahul to sit down and close his eyes.

Professor: What is going on in your mind?

Rahul: I am anxious!

Professor: Why?

Rahul: Due to tomorrow’s interview.

Professor: No issues. This is completely normal, everyone goes through this. Now answer these questions. Have you studied all the subjects thouroughly?

Rahul: Yes, I have.

Professor: Have you researched about the company, their values, etc.?

Rahul: Yes.

Professor: Are you aware of everything in your resume and will you be able to speak about anything questioned within the resume?

Rahul: Yes, I think so.

Professor: Great. Then you have done everything that was in your control, now there are just 2 things left to do. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down and listen to me carefully. You were the class topper for 5 out of 8 semesters in college. You won 1st prize in multiple hackathons and have very good ratings in competitive coding. You know very well you have the ability to clear the interview. So just go there with calm nerves and don’t think about the results. Whatever the results might be, you know you have done well!

Rahul: Thanks professor! That was helpful, I feel calmer now.

Let’s look at another example.

Sam, an artist, follows Laura, another artist on instagram. Laura and Sam had studied from the same college but Laura had 10000+ followers whereas Sam had just around 2000. He saw that Laura had posted a photo of a new painting of her and she was getting a lot of likes and comments and everybody was appreciating her. Sam also posted a photo and did not get as many likes. He was furious. “Why do her paintings get so much attraction, mine are better!”, “How come we start from the same place and she is so much more successful! I used to get better grades at almost everything in college.”, “Don’t know what is wrong with people these days. They like her painting over mine?!”.

One day, Sam discussed this with his mother. And his mother shut him up saying that he is jealous. “Stop crying like a baby and focus on improving yourself rather than being jealous!”, were the exact words of his mother. Those words deeply hurt Sam. He was angry with his mother. “How could she do that to me?”. Once his anger cooled down. He started realizing it. “What is my issue?”. “I am jealous!”. “Why?”. “Because Laura is more popular than I am.”. “Is that correct? Should I be jealous?”. “No I shouldn’t!”. “But why is she more popular? Is it because her paintings are actually better? May be. Let me examine them once again with an open mind. Yes they are actually really good.”. “What can I learn from them?”. “I will improve my paintings and congratulate and thank Laura for inspiring me.”. “Also, 2000 followers is also not a small number! I should be grateful to those 2000 people who appreciate my talent!”.

You might have noticed a pattern here. It is always about understanding and rationally acknowledging (which is very important) what emotion you are going through. Then figuring out ‘Why’. Then working towards improving it without judgement. This is the entire process of introspection. In the first example, instead of the professor, it should be you yourself, because not many people have great mentors like the professor. Making introspection a habit is the most useful skill you can learn in your entire life. It will help you identify your flaws, and fix them. It will help you understand yourself better. It will help you become a little bit better everyday.

Introspection is a topic I personally have deep interest in and we will cover it a little bit more in future episodes, so if you liked this one, stay tuned for the next ones. Until then, goodbye!